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Posts Tagged ‘family communication’

Why it’s important to say “I love you”

Posted by mandyf on February 7, 2012

Saying I love you is something so simple, yet all too often, it is also something we take for granted. That tiny little three word phrase is one of the most powerful strings of words in the world that all humans long to hear, yet when we examine our day many of us may not hear it enough, and saddest of all some may not hear it once. As a child it is something we often say without even thinking of it, yet as adults the words all too often become harder to say. In some cases, for reasons we don’t always understand even though we know how important saying it is.

It is important to say I love you because it is reassuring. As humans we all have vulnerabilities, especially when it comes to the way we perceive how others feel about us. The husband that goes days on end without actually hearing those words from his wife may get insecure and vise versa. Not hearing an I love you returned or spontaneously offered can create doubts because it is our natural reaction to let our mind wander and try to find reasons why those words have not been said. Usually the only reasons that are formulated are negative reasons, so saying I love you removes that doubt and reassures a person that everything is okay and there is no need to worry.

In the parent child dynamic it lets each side know that even though they are inevitably not going to see eye to eye on many things that disagreeing does not mean love is absent. For a child it is especially important that they hear they are loved often because it provides them with a sense of security. A part of growing up is making mistakes and getting into trouble which both sometimes lead to punishment or some negative outcome. It is important that they know that although they may have done something wrong, they are still loved, that love is not something to be used as a weapon. For a parent it is important to hear I love you from your child because it recharges the parental batteries and reminds us that every sacrifice made for our children is worth it.

As friends it is important we say I love you because it reaffirms the bonds we share and lets people know how important they are to us. In some cases a friend may not have anyone else in their life that tells them they are loved. While not hearing from someone that you are loved by won’t end a life like loss of oxygen, it can lead to depression and a malaise that drags a person down and creates a defeatist attitude. Just telling them they are loved now and then can rectify that in such a simple way and lift them up that to to not say it seems ridiculous.

Couple circa 4th of July, 1941

It is important we tell people we love them because we cannot see the future. The reality of life is that death will eventually find us all and we never know when that will happen. There are few things sadder than watching a person carry the regret of not having told someone they were loved one last time, or even once at all.

It is important we say I love you often and to everyone we do love because while it is good for them to hear, it is equally good for us to say it. The more we say it the more we hear it in return. It fosters a greater tolerance for each other and smooths the waters the ship of life sails over. It costs us nothing to say it and serves as one of the greatest medicines known to man. Hearing I love you heals so many wounds and serves to prevent others from forming. Saying I love you is important for all the above reasons and countless others, so please remember to say it to someone everyday, it can change both of your lives.


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