Find your minimal requirements for a date
Posted by mandyf on January 26, 2013
Everyone in the dating world has to set the bar somewhere. Some have such high requirements in what they are looking for in a person they are willing to date it is amazing they ever find someone, while others set the cut off point far too low. There is no true marker for what is too low as each individual usually has a grasp on what type of person is within their grasp. While the following rules may not be universal in all cases, they will help you identify what the minimum requirements are for someone you are willing to date.
Do they have a pulse? This is always a good place to start as it is pretty difficult to have a successful date with someone who is incapable of communicating. While that is facetious as it is presented in the literal sense, you have to consider right away that there are living people who exhibit less outward activity than the dead, or so it seems. You try to initiate conversation, make suggestions for activities, or just get the slightest rise out of them and all they do is stare blankly or offer monosyllabic answers. Therefore having someone that is lively enough to hold up their end of a conversation is a definite minimum requirement.
Do you have at least a couple of overlapping interests that you can share in some way? Efficiently exchanging carbon dioxide really doesn’t count here. Think more along the lines of a shared joy for rollerblading, art, the same genre of movies, sports, or anything you can engage in as a couple. If you have nothing in common you most likely won’t make it to the third date, second if you’re the one paying.
Are your lives heading in similar directions? As cruel as it may sound if your life is on the rise don’t tie an anchor around your neck! This doesn’t mean that a minimum requirement for dating someone is how much money they make, but rather that they are at least making an honest effort to realize their potential. Along the same lines you have to have at a minimum broadly defined common goals. If their great ambition in life is to see Star Wars at the IMAX for the 500th time and yours is to upgrade a software package for the universal exchange of medical records, you probably aren’t the best fit.
You must next consider whether or not you fit in each others own personal worlds. This is really just a nice way of saying are they going to embarrass you socially. The harsh reality is if you aren’t exactly busting at the seams to be seen with someone don’t even bother. You can hide someone away for a little while but eventually you will have to meet each others friends and family. If the prospect of that makes you feel ill then don’t waste each others time. If you aren’t willing to be seen with someone it is likely that even if you somehow wound up in an intimate situation there would be no chemistry. If you cannot have a healthy sex life you have no shot at a healthy relationship. Just move on to the next episode.
Only you know what things you can live with and without in a person you are going to date. These are merely a few red flags to look for that are good indicators you are wasting your time. The choice is always yours to make and sometimes the best couples are the outwardly most unlikely to succeed. The best advice is keep an open mind, have an escape plan at the ready in case a date is particularly bad, and do make sure they do have a pulse both literally and figuratively!