Loving is not a matter of he or she, but of who and why
Posted by mandyf on August 12, 2012
Who is to define what love is and whom it can be felt for? While some people attempt to do this with great vigor and equally flawed logic there is a universal axiom that love is inexplicable, it is just something a person feels deep within them self and accepts. We do this because love feels good whether it be love for our parents, siblings, children or friends. We all love, and to say that love shared between two people is lesser because perhaps those people are gay is not just silly, it flies in the face of nature no matter how loudly some will scream that is untrue.
Love is the best thing anyone can offer to another because it is pure, intimate, and the ultimate show of trust. While some may argue all love is not equal or there are different kinds of love, this is really nothing more than the overuse of the term. We may say we love a blanket or a television program, but truth be told we just happen to like it more than the competing offerings. The dilution of the word love has in some cases cheapened the impact it carries when echoed, especially when it isn’t truly meant.
To say love for another need be based on gender is to say the love a son feels for a father or a sister for a sister is somewhat less. It is to say two friends of the same sex should not be in love but rather some form of “hyper-like.” Of course people scream that is different than a gay couple, but the only difference they can point to is a gay couple is sexually intimate with each other while none of the other groups are. The real question then arises which begs to be answered; is love dependent on sex? Does sex somehow taint love? If it is held as an axiom in regards to a gay couple, it then must be held as true for a heterosexual couple or the whole argument falls apart.
We don’t pick and choose who it is we love. We often try to force ourselves to love someone, or we try to convince ourselves we love someone, but that is not love. love flows of it’s own accord and it lets us know who we are in love with. We are powerless over it which is evidenced all too many times when people remain in toxic relationships because the love they feel for that person that is bad for them is just that strong. It is evidenced in the parent that may have an awful child they don’t like as a person but still love as their own and vise versa. If love was something we could choose we would obviously choose not to feel it for people that are bad for us because it would make leaving them so much easier, but that just is not how it works.
Love is the same across the board, it makes no difference if it is the love a youngster feels for a parent, the love two long time friends share, or the love between spouses. While we as humans may want to, or even force ourselves to see differences between a gay couple and straight couple, love does not feel compelled to do that, so neither should we. If we cannot accept love in all its forms we cannot accept it at all.