How to tell if you are more than just friends
Posted by mandyf on May 29, 2012
While it seems very confusing to tell if you are more than just friends with someone, and the realization of that can be scary, there are some very simple questions to ask yourself to help find out. it has always been quite a conundrum for most people to try to figure out when friendship has crossed the line to romantic love. To further complicate the issue it’s frightening to think about the bad things that can happen if you cross that line and it doesn’t work out. On the other hand it is heartbreaking to think that this friend you may have feelings for could be the one, and you won’t know unless you explore your feelings objectively and take action if necessary.
As the love never realized is among the saddest of all, if you find yourself in this situation please answer the following questions honestly. Ask them to yourself over a few weeks if necessary, but don’t keep dodging your feelings. You owe it to yourself and your friend to find out for sure.
Do your friends make comments about the two of you being a couple? have you ever hear them say how great and natural you look together? Do they make statements like they never know why the two of you have never gotten together, or how well your personalities match each other? If other people are seeing that you are highly compatible and comfortable together there must be something to it. Outside observers can often pick up on these little things much faster and clearer than the people actually involved in the friendship.
Do strangers naturally assume you are a couple? This may seem like an odd barometer, but not all couples that hang out together give off the vibe of “being together.” If people that you have never met pick up on the chemistry between you, again, there must be something there. it is reflected in your body language, facial expressions, and the way you interact with each other.
Are you daily phone buddies? This goes beyond the text message or email each day into the world of a deeper personal connection. If you find yourself looking forward to hearing their voice, especially if it is a call before you go to bed, then you have likely crossed the line beyond friendship. These calls are usually or no reason other than to just gab about what might have happened during the day, what’s on television, or absolutely nothing at all other than feeling connected to you.
Do you find yourself dreaming about them often or falling asleep thinking about them? It doesn’t have to be romantic in nature, although
that is a dead giveaway. It is the significance of the fact that even in your sleep when you are at your most relaxed and the unconscious takes over, s/he is still on your mind.
Have you developed pet names for each other without intending to? These aren’t nicknames you are known as by everyone, these are just between the two of you. This signifies a deeper intimacy in that you hold each other special enough and are comfortable enough with each other to have reached this point. Another great sign is that you can tell when they are upset with you or something is wrong by them not calling you by your pet name.
Have you become more physically comfortable with each other? This doesn’t mean sex, it simply means are you comfortable with more intimate physical contact. If you have reached the point that you hold hands without it feeling odd that is a good indicator you have an increased comfort level. If you can curl up together on the coach watching a movie, or sit with your head on his shoulder or his his/her arm around you and it doesn’t feel awkward these are also good signs you have gone beyond just friends.
Each person is an individual and while there is no tried and true way to determine if you have become more than friends, these are good signs you may have. On their own each may mean little, but if you find yourself answering yes to a few it may be time to look at your relationship a little closer. use common sense and if you find that you think you have gone beyond being “just friends” talk it out with your friend. They may feel the same way you do.