The best Frank Zappa quotes ever
Posted by mandyf on February 25, 2012
Frank Zappa was more than a musician. Frank Zappa was a visionary, rebel and advocate for all that was ignored or spoken down of. Far too many took the stance that Zappa was too weird to be smart. They didn’t get his music. they didn’t get his humor and because of that they often missed the deeper underlying messages he was conveying or ignored them. While not everything that Zappa said was a holy nugget of wisdom, much of it, that he went on the record with at least, was profound. Some of it was just funny though. here’s a collection of the with and Wisdom of Frank Zappa for anyone that missed it while he was with us.
Frank Zappa quotes on people
“Stupidity is the basic building block of the universe.”
“A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it’s not open.”
“The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else’s life.”
“The first thing you have to do if you want to raise nice kids, is you have to talk to them like they are people instead of talking to them like they’re property.”
“It would be easier to pay off the national debt overnight than to neutralize the long-range effects of our national stupidity”
“May your shit come to life and kiss you on the face.”
“If you wind up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest or some guy on TV telling you how to do your shit, then YOU DESERVE IT.”
Frank Zappa thoughts on politics
“You can’t be a Real Country unless you have a BEER and an airline – it helps if you have some kind of a football team or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER.”
“Without deviation from the norm, ‘progress’ is not possible.”
“When God created Republicans, he gave up on everything else.”
“Washington, D.C.: a city infested with statues — and Congressional Blow-Boys who WISH they were statues.”
“Thanks to our schools and political leadership, the U.S. has acquired an international reputation as the home of 250 million people dumb enough to buy ‘The Wacky Wall-Walker.’
“The establishment of a rating system, voluntary or otherwise, opens the door to an endless parade of moral quality control programs based on things certain Christians do not like. What if the next bunch of Washington wives demands a large yellow “J” on all material written or performed by Jews, in order to save helpless children from exposure to concealed Zionist doctrine?”
— Frank Zappa, Statement to the Senate Hearing on “Porn Rock,” 1985
Frank Zappa on religion
“The whole foundation of Christianity is based on the idea that intellectualism is the work of the Devil. Remember the apple on the tree? Okay, it was the Tree of Knowledge. “You eat this apple, you’re going to be as smart as God. We can’t have that.”
“I don’t want to see any religious people in public office because they’re working for another boss”
“Scientology, how about that? You hold on to the tin cans and then this guy asks you a bunch of questions, and if you pay enough money you get to join the master race. How’s that for a religion?”
“Remember there’s a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.”
“There is no hell. There is only France.”
Frank Zappa on the arts
“The most important thing in art is the frame. For painting: literally; for other arts: figuratively – because, without this humble appliance, you can’t know where The Art stops and The Real World begins. You have to put a “box” around it because otherwise, what is that shit on the wall?”
“Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.”
“I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.”
“Most people wouldn’t know music if it came up and bit them on the ass.”
“The computer can’t tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact mathematical design, but what’s missing is the eyebrows.”
Zappa’s guide to composing…
JUST FOLLOW THESE SIMPLE INSTRUCTIONS:
 Declare your intention to create a ‘composition.’
 Start a piece at some time.
 Cause something to happen over a period of time (it doesn’t matter what happens in your ‘time hole’ – we have critics to tell us whether it’s any good or not, so we won’t worry about that part).
 End the piece at some time (or keep it going, telling the audience it is a ‘work in progress’).
 Get a part-time job so you can continue to do stuff like this.
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