Mind Candy

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What not to talk about on a first date

Posted by mandyf on January 25, 2012

It goes without saying you want a first date to be the best it possibly can, and while being able to talk in order to get to know each other is a key of a good first date there are topics you should avoid on the first date. This is not to say you can’t talk about important things, it just means you should use common sense and avoid the big five date killers the first time out. If you want to increase your odds of getting a second date, avoid an incident, and potentially suffer a miserable or truncated meeting, follow this advice and you’ll be well on your way.

Sure you are

Unless you met at a Young Republicans meeting or something like that stay away from politics! Even people that generally say they don’t care about or follow politics still have very strong opinions on the topic. You may make what you think is an innocent observation about the president or perhaps some piece of legislation in the news which absolutely turns your dates stomach. The wrong statement on politics could send your date to the bathroom and they may never return opting to quietly slide out. That’s better than starting an argument at least or even worse the silent date. Unless you love living way over the edge just avoid politics all together.

Even touchier than politics is religion. You may think you know where someone stands but you could wind up being so far off base you spend the night in theological discourse more vigorously fought than the Crusades. You could hit the wrong button and end the whole date before the appetizers even arrive, I’ve seen it happen. Heck I’ve actually done it. Religion is a very personal thing that people hold dearly to and they don’t want it to ever be challenged for the most part, certainly not on the first date with a person they are just getting to know. Now there is another possibility and you could wind up with someone that wants to spend the evening giving you their testimony once you open that door and that may not be what you have in mind for the night. This is something you are better off learning about over time, not on the first date.

When it comes to money just say no! When I was dating it was one of the biggest turn-offs out there to have my income or asset value questioned. This is one of those things that just isn’t anyone’s business on a first date. If it was we would all carry a current credit rating and and statements from our bank and broker. Discussing money on the first dates gives the impression that if a person is a bit short in the finance department means they are not worthy of your company somehow. I’m not saying money isn’t something important to discuss down the road, but on a first date it is a killer. It gives the immediate impression you are or may be a gold digger and that goes for men as well as women.

We all have exe’s but we don’t want to hear about them on the first date or sometimes even ever. There are few things worse than sitting across from someone or even worse being stuck in a car with them and hearing them drone on about their ex. When you do this it’s a bit disrespectful to the person you are with at the least, it’s boring to the maximum, and it shows you haven’t moved on yet. It is a clear signal you really aren’t ready to be dating and the chances of a follow up date are slim to none. Do yourself and your date a favor and skip this subject until they bring it up! When and if they want to know they will ask. Volunteering this information on the first date is like sealing your own coffin.

The final thing to forget about discussing on the first date is sex. Sure you may wind up having sex with your date that first night, it happens with great regularity, but if you bring it up it’s a turn-off. Talking about sex with a person on the first date is creepy for most people, it gives off a vibe that’s what you’re going out with them for and nobody likes to be put in that position. It makes a person feel cheap and disrespected as if you think they owe you something above and beyond for your company. When and if it’s going to happen it will naturally. Talking about on the first date makes it feel forced. If you like being ditched by all means bring it up, otherwise just leave this subject untouched.

As we are all individuals not everyone will respond poorly to these topics but in general many will. We all have pet peeves and subjects that set us off. A good rule of thumb is if the topic is something which is or can be controversial or of very personal nature leave it alone. It will come out down the road on a later date. Keep first date conversation light and casual and you’ll do well, bring up these above mentioned topics and you’ll wish you never had.


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