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The statistically worst days of the year – Why get out of bed?

Posted by mandyf on December 8, 2011

It may be a hard concept to grasp, but there are specific days of the year that are worse than others – at least statistically. For various reasons there are days in which more people are prone to die, suffer accidents, take their own life, or find that the wheels have been set in motion for people to get sick and in some cases – die. No it isn’t a Friday the 13th thing where superstitious bad luck is at play, these are real days that statistics point to being just plain old bad.

July 1st on its own doesn’t seem so bad until you consider that is the day in which an insane mechanism in the medical industry kicks into gear. Each July 1st in the US somewhere in the area of 2,100 or so medical interns start their life after school – on average. That means they are in hospitals dealing with people. The fact that they are interns in no way means they are incompetent, it just means they haven’t figured everything out yet so far as getting things done.

What makes them problematic from this view is that they don’t know the ins and outs yet. What attending is good or bad? How do they get all that paperwork done? Which case is heartburn and which is someone that is really in trouble? That all bogs things down – they are just flat out slow. That isn’t a problem on its own,  except that the worst place to be, if you are or are not sick from one perspective, is a hospital. You are spending more time waiting to be treated in cramped rooms with people that have who knows what, and all that extra time increases your odds of contracting whatever they have. Estimates range anywhere from 44,000 to 98,000 people dying in the US each year from something they caught in a hospital. You could walk in fine and just be waiting with your kid, and all of sudden you walk out sick because you handled a magazine after some guy that has some nasty infection or another rubbing his snot stained paws all over everything.

That could happen, interns or not, but just that it was proved pretty definitively in a Harvard study to be fact should be a bit scary. The moral of the story is get sick well before July 1st and if you can’t avoid being sick on the first or the weeks following, don’t hang around the waiting room so much. There are sick people everywhere waiting for you to join them.

Wednesday is an awful day – any Wednesday- just randomly pick one. On Wednesday’s more people kill them self than any other day. It’s hard to figure out why for sure, but maybe the glow of the last weekend is gone, the next one seems too far away. Maybe no matter how you look at it you have just hit the halfway marker of working for a dictatorial, egomanical, lunatic, short tempered, bully of a boss that you fantasize about seeing mauled by a bear, then laid upon by said bear until vomit and bile pour out his mouth congealing into a chunky puddle of afterbirth like mucus that slowly chokes him to death – all while you sit back and eat popcorn. Perhaps knowing the odds of that are slim is too depressing to deal with.  Just a guess. I have no real idea if anyone actually ever thought that about their former general manager whom they dream about stabbing with shrimp forks.

Take heart in knowing that of 100 people whom attempted suicide on a Wednesday , only six actually left treatment and still killed them self. No data is available however to see if they did so on a Wednesday or tried a new day the next time. Point being, if you feel suicidal, sleep on it. See what the next day brings and tell someone you need help! No kidding around about this –  There is no shame in asking for asking for help. We all have tough times, and death is permanent. You can’t test drive death for a few months and change your mind, but you can live and look at the world differently the next day.

Monday is the worst day to eat in a restaurant – or more specifically to order the special. This is especially true if the special includes any kind of seafood. You are 35% more likely to get food poisoning from eating at a restaurant on a Monday than any other day. Executive Chef Anthony Bourdain explained that it all comes down to money in his 2000 memoir.

A double order of Big Breasts for me - and a Sam Adams

The general deal here is that restaurants want to keep their profit margin as high as possible. That combined with few fresh fish markets – or any fresh meat type market – delivering on weekends means that restaurants stock up heavy on Friday. They tend to over-purchase so they don’t run out of food which would be embarrassing. Usually they never use all that was purchased, but restaurant GM’s don’t like waste. Hence the special, which is designed to use whatever was left over or is just starting to smell funky. It’s a recipe for bacteria and a diagnosis for illness. Bon appetite!

The day after Mother’s day is horrific – even worse than Valentine’s day which is pretty bad when it comes to break ups. Moms tend to envision Mother’s day as their day when they are catered to, told how special they are, and everything is sunshine, quiet, and roses for at least one damn day a year. Usually it is a day like any other if it is even remembered – aside from the card made of pasta at your kid’s school. A bad day like that gets a lot of women wondering what else is out there.

Enter the Ashley Madison dating site for married people – you did read that right. On the average day about 2,750 married women join the site. The day after Mother’s day however sees a spike to over 31,000 married women joining. They don’t necessarily act on anything after joining, but just thinking that they do is kinda creepy. I mean your woman is out there comparison shopping you like she’s trading in a car. You can’t help but think if the terms of the contract are favorable and the interest rate is right….

This just isn't pretty.....

January 1st, or technically the last few hours of December 31st carrying over to January 1st is like bad judgment day, not New Years day. The reason for this is people tend to drink and indulge in amateur pharmacology, and get just plain stupid ringing in the new year. Drunk driving fatalities are well documented as are drunk walking fatalities believe it or not. Plenty of people thinking they can walk those three blocks safely while totally plastered have problems too. While those are big exercises in poor judgment, how about pregnancy?

Each year around the first week of October births in the US spike. As the average term of pregnancy is around 274 days, count backwards from say October 4th or so and see what day you wind up on. That means plenty of people were getting plastered and getting busy or just getting busy for the sake of doing it because it’s a holiday and that’s what seems like fun. Seriously, just don’t do it, or at least wrap that rascal before partying. Having fun is no excuse to be irresponsible, and you cannot rationalize that every new Year’s day conception was part of a well though out plan.

Inherently, no day is worse than any other. They have the equal potential to be great or absolutely suck equally when you wake up. The key to any day being good or bad is what you make of it and the people you share it with – so long as you avoid the Monday special at any restaurant…that is just flat bad….


5 Responses to “The statistically worst days of the year – Why get out of bed?”

  1. Thanks for the smile… and watch out for the Interns….

  2. LOL Love the Mother’s day Stats!

  3. ridexc said

    I think that’s births that spike in October! 😉

  4. mandyf said

    You are correct – thanks for the catch!

  5. Funny! Thanks for the Friday chuckle – comparison shopping your husband after Mother’s Day, wow, who knew! At least we can avoid the pitfalls of Monday restaurant “Specials”.

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