Mind Candy

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The health risks behind the worst places to have sex

Posted by mandyf on September 9, 2011

There is a saying that there is no such thing as bad sex – but that is usually said by people not getting much or any at all. The fact is not all sex is good. Sometimes the person isn’t right, or the mood can be all wrong, or the location can be a problem. People love trying to spice up their sex lives by trying new locations all the time. Sometimes the goal is to add a little excitement – the risk of being caught can really heighten things after all. Whatever the reasons are, there are good and bad places to mix things up.

Many locations people choose to have sex sound great until they actually get it on. Then they find that no amount of atmosphere is going to make up for the shortfalls and they wind up disappointed. Sometimes they even wind up sick , injured, or dead. Sex is a as strenuous as a sport and things happen. With that in mind these are the places that sound like a great idea to have sex that almost always come up short if for no other reason than the health risks involved.

photo by Nilfanion

Sex in this pool isn't as sexy as you'd think

People love the idea of sex in the pool because it seems safe. There are no sharks, Man of War jellyfish, or weird things that go squish. Plus it just looks like fun. The thing people fail to consider is that it isn’t that easy to get it on really good in a pool. Keeping a good rhythm can be a problem, water is an awful lubricant, and don’t even get started on the chlorine, chemicals, and urine present if it’s a public pool.

Studies conducted at UCSB point out that chlorinated water in pools still has enough bacteria present to cause a UTI or yeast infection – and sex is just helping it all get up in there. Getting back to the point of water being a lousy lubricant, the lack of proper lubrication can lead to micro-tears that can lead to the easier transmission of STD’s, which leads to some very unhappy consequences.

Nightclub sex almost always seems like a good idea because the parties involved are usually pretty wasted. More people than are likely willing to admit it have hit the bathroom in a club for a little bit of off the dance floor activity. In the heat of the moment what they usually forget is that bathrooms in clubs are disgusting. Drunk people have lousy aim, other people have likely had the same idea before you that night, and there is no telling what people might have done when a stall door closes.

photo by Kingofbad111

Bathroom sex MAY not be this bad - but it sure as hell ain't all that good

Then you have to wonder how well the bathroom was actually cleaned in the first place – if at all. While you’re doing your version of the bathroom stall mambo you’re also exposing yourself to shigella, salmonella, e-coli, and Methicillin-resistant Staph Aureus, and possibly residual urine and fecal matter left behind by earlier visitors because again – drunk people have bad aim and drunk people do weird things. Just keep in mind that while the men’s room may have puddles of pee everywhere, women’s rooms tend to have twice the fecal matter so it really is a matter of pick your possible infection. Just in case you still think it’s no big deal, behind cancer and heart attacks, bacterial microorganisms are the third leading cause of death! Cheers!

Sex in a moving car is always a favorite activity because the risk factor is so high. Truckers can ride alongside and look down at the show, the vibrations of the vehicle can spice things up, and oh yeah – the risk of death really kicks things up a notch. Your big risk in car sex isn’t so much bacteria or micro-tears leading to STDS – it is the lack of focus. People tend to block things out when they are engaged in any sexual activity – just look at the faces people make when climaxing and there is no arguing that – who would willingly want to make those silly “O” faces if given a choice? When people lose focus bad things can happen and if you read or saw “The World According to Garp” you know the lesser danger besides death.

People always seem to have this notion of sex on the beach being the height of passion. The fact is you can lay a thousand blankets out and sand will still find your most delicate areas. It does not matter how much lubricant you use, when you mix in sand it is not going to feel good. Then there is always the issue of all the bacteria on sand, and that beaches are shut down all the time because their bacteria levels are dangerously high. Just keep in mind that bacteria not only likes sand – it loves it and grows exponentially fast. Not to worry though, the only things that beach sand can be linked to include dysentery, typhoid fever, and hepatitis A. The risk is worth the reward, right?

photo by sailko

The sticky stuff on the floor ain't always soda - know what I'm saying?

The movie theater has always been a favorite hook up place for teens with nowhere else to go and adults trying to recapture a little youth. Consider this for a second – movie theater floors are generally sticky with sugar and tons and tons of nasty little things love sugar. The odds are you won’t die from anything in a theater – unless of course you encounter some weird goo an open wound comes in contact with. Most likely you’ll just encounter nothing worse than bacillus cereus which will most likely just give you a wicked case of the trots that crosses the line from run of the mill diarrhea to full on green apple splatters. Enjoy in good health.

Nature lovers really dig communing with nature, but they never consider all the hidden risks. Sure  a random bear could maul you, or an amorous goat or something could try to get in on the act, but the real danger is the little things. What kind of little things? How about crawly things like ticks, or parasites. The thing is that when you are out in the wild, you are also out in natures toilet. Animals defecate and they have little regard about where they do it. You may not smell it, you may not see it, but you could have your blanket where some poo has been deposited – and no matter how tight the weave is it will not stop bacteria. Just something to keep in mind.

It probably won't be a really buff pissed off bear like this that gets you, but who knows?

This isn’t to scare anyone or say that spicing up your sex life with a little geographical variety is a bad thing, it is just to point out that when you do so there are some risks you may not be considering. If you are going to engage in sexual activity in any of the above locations take precautions or maybe consider some other ideas. Sex is usually good, but even great sex isn’t worth dying for.

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