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No penis for you! Or money for it – Jury decides man’s penis has no cash value

Posted by mandyf on August 26, 2011

In Shelbyville, Kentucky, a jury has decided that a penis is worth nothing. Well, in a way they decided that penises are worthless, but like anything else there is a heck of a story behind it all. This is one that may just leave you scratching your head.

Phillip Seaton went to Dr. John Peterson to have an adult circumcision performed. While that is not your everyday thing as most circumcisions are performed shortly after birth, it is not terribly unusual by any means. Now most people are already assuming that the penis was accidentally cut off or burned in some manner that it had to be removed – nearly everyone assumes the OMG what an accident angle! In reality, the removal of the penis was a necessity.

Seaton done lost his penis! (photo from queerty.com)

While performing the circumcision, Dr. Peterson noted that the tip of Mr. Seaton’s penis looked a lot like a rotten cauliflower. Now I’m not a big fan of the penis, but even I know that a penis that looks like a rotten cauliflower has got to be a really bad thing. You’d think the smell has to be horrendous. Being a good Dr., Peterson knew this was cancerous and removed the cancer allowing the patient to live. The removal of the penis from Mr. Seaton was necessary to save his life.

Seaton looked at things differently. In his opinion, according to court transcripts, cutting off his penis was unnecessary. He figured, through his vast experience with cancerous penises one must assume, that his life was not in any imminent danger, and he deserves to be compensated for having his cancerous penis removed. He contends that it goes beyond the release forms he signed giving the good Dr. the latitude to handle any unforeseen issues in the way he saw as being the most medically proper manner.

Seaton decided that the Dr. was wrong and he had to pay for his wrong decision. He took Dr. Peterson to court and sued him for $16 million based on the “loss of service, love and affection.” No shit – that is the actual set of reasons cited in the suit! A jury of his peers decided that the removal of the diseased penis was justified and turned the suit down awarding Seaton nothing – not a single straw penny.

Cancerous Penis (photo by Wang Kai-feng, Pan Hong-ming, Lou Hai-zhou, Shen Li-rong, Zhu Xi-yan)

Seaton plans to appeal feeling that he should have been consulted before his joint was chopped off – and maybe he should have been. The odds are however had Dr. Peterson not cut off his diseased dick, Seaton may not even be alive to sue him – or perhaps that diseased pizzle would have just rotted off on it’s own. Who knows?

Moral of the story being, if your dick gets chopped off by a doctor in Kentucky, odds are a jury of your peers will deem the loss of that penis as negligible – so long as the loss saves your life.


The photo at left is NOT Mr. Seaton, it is merely an example of a penis that is showing the type of cancer Seaton had removed – although the stage may be different. Also for those that think this is made up, the AP begs to differ.


One Response to “No penis for you! Or money for it – Jury decides man’s penis has no cash value”

  1. nearlynormalized said

    Such is life in the big City where the dogs bark at strangers…The importance of the dangle is to the one it is dangling from…No mas.

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