Mind Candy

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The 5 types of women that get dumped – Does any of this sound familiar?

Posted by mandyf on August 22, 2011

While it is hard to generalize, Let’s do just that thing anyway. There are five basic types of women that get dumped. While getting dumped is never easy, the only comforting thing about it is that these types of women exist in all demographics as the behaviors that define them know no boundaries based on economics, looks, race, sexual orientation, or any other type of thing of a similar nature. If you find yourself getting dumped on a regular basis, see if you fit one of these general types, and maybe think about changing your approach to dating a bit.

The first type of woman that gets dumped is the whack job. She is also known in some circles as the nut case. The whack job is the woman that makes no sense in what she does. She flirts with other people right in front of her date but insists the 183 other people witnessing it took it all wrong. She always does that thing where she pins her feet back behind her head just for fun! She makes inappropriate comments without thinking or caring (Like the time she called your mom a hairy flat chested homonid)  and in general she is someone that leaves you scratching your head in amazement more often than not. The problem with the whack job is you keep thinking she will change, and you keep thinking you are the one to change her, but the reality is she never changes until she wants to.

Oh yeah - she can get it on a lot like that

The psycho is like the whack job on steroids – in a figurative sense. She has all the attributes of the whack job, but she then goes a step further. The psycho is pretty damn scary and tends to use threats to get her way. What makes it worse is the psycho will carry through with their threats on a regular enough basis to actually be a danger to them self and others. If she swears she will sodomize your pets on the hood of your car if you piss her off – she may just do that. As such, the psycho is the type that gets dumped pretty fast, usually via email, snail mail or text message just before someone moves away or takes out a restraining order. With one stare, she can burn a hole through your soul. She can go full out Les Grossman on you and fuck you up so bad you need the UN to order a binding fucking resolution to keep her from caving your dome in with an ashtray she made at pottery class – which incidentally contains bits of your hair and dead skin she scavenged from your bathroom.

Any excuse to get in a pic of Julie Atlas Muz (Photo by Joe Mabel)

The “vine” gets dumped because they strangle the life out of everyone they date. The vine is sometimes known as they dryer sheet as well because they cling to their lover as if connected by overwhelming static electricity. It’s nice to want to be close to someone you love, but not 24/7/365. Everyone needs personal time and space, and the vine doesn’t get that. They just wrap tighter and tighter around their lover until they squeeze the life out of them. They get jealous when their lover works late, hangs out with friends without her, and she tends to go into a tizzy if they are even a few minutes late arriving for a date or returning home.

The “total honesty” type of woman tends to get dumped in a hurry because people don’t want total honesty, at least not about everything. This is the woman that on the first date jumps right into disclosing things people tend to not want much detail about. She not only might say, for example, she has had a lot of sex, but go on to detail who it was with, how it was done, and if it was any good. Then she can segue right into every single problem she has ever had in her life and spares no details. While there is a time and place for some of that within reason, the total honesty woman doesn’t get that. She thinks this is all appreciated, but in reality there are certain things people don’t want the full disclosure on.

Finally there is the pouter. She pouts when you don’t call right after leaving her to remind her once again how wonderful she is. She pouts if she feels she isn’t getting more of your attention than everything else in the world combined. In fact she pouts about everything because nothing is ever good enough for her. The pouter might get away with this briefly, and with someone that has low self esteem for a long time, but in general people just get tired of whiners. Complainers suck, it’s that simple. Sooner or later complainers find themselves alone or left with nothing to do but complain to other complainers that will do nothing but complain the complainers they are with don’t listen to their complaints enough.

Photo by Benjamin Portland

The thing is there are tons of reasons why a woman may get dumped beyond these, but these are very common types of women that find themselves having trouble maintaining a romantic relationship. Aside from the psycho, there is hope for each type of dating personality, but it is paramount anyone that may get involved with any woman like the above realizes they cannot change them. These women change when they are ready to, and sadly some never are ready change. Advance with caution, look for their telltale traits early on, and understand what you are up against. For the ladies who do fall into these personality types that get dumped, ask yourself why you are the way you are, and why you continue to do these things. If it hasn’t worked so far, it isn’t likely to magically change and become the formula for dating success. submit to reddit

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