Mind Candy

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Fire in the hole! What foods cause anal leakage?

Posted by mandyf on August 3, 2011


Anal leakage is no joke. It’s not something that only exists on South Park or in third world countries. Anal leakage is alive and well and running rampant throughout the US and the rest of the industrialized world as well. It’s a byproduct of certain types of diets. If you shove potato chips into your mouth non-stop the odds are your butt will leak eventually. If you go the other way and try to eat very healthy you may have some butt butter dripping out if you’re not careful. Certain drugs will cause the ol’ butt drip as well. Any way you slice it, there is a decent chance that one day or another you will walk out of your home and your shorts will be filled with foam.

Foods that can cause anal leakage are more plentiful than most people think. While it may seem odd, in some cases, the healthier you try to make your diet, the more at risk you are to experience anal leakage. Anal leakage can best be described as what is usually a yellowish to orange discharge from your rectum that has the consistency of something like an Italian salad dressing. This can occur while you are awake, at stool, or even asleep. That is what is often most horrifying for people, anal leakage can strike at any time, and the normal muscle reflexes that prevent leakage or the involuntary escape of bowel often fail if certain foods are ingested in sufficient quantities.

While it would be far too voluminous to list every individual food product that can cause anal leakage, it can be broken down into five categories of food or cooking products that are known to cause the problem. If you are experiencing anal leakage, check your diet for any products from the below mentioned families, and it is likely you will find what is causing your problem.

Photo by Evan-Amos

Olestra, which is also known as Olean, causes anal leakage for the same reason Orlistat does, which for better or worse will be explained here. Olestra was the product made famous back around the late 1990’s when it was used in many potato chips – most very briefly. Olestra contains a molecule that blocks the absorption of fat. The problem is that it also reduces absorbing other things like vitamins and minerals and acts as a very efficient internal lubricant. As a bonus, it can cause abdominal cramps, rancid gas, and anal leakage. Pringles Fat Free Chips are one of the few major brands still using Olestra, so you have been warned.

Far more sugar free candies that one would think can cause anal leakage. For most people that have a couple candies here or there it is no problem. For people that can’t stop at one, or worse, choose the wrong sugar free candy as an oral fixation substitute when trying to quit smoking, it can be a real problem. If this is a concern for you, check the ingredients for the sugar substitutes mannitol, xylitol, or sorbitol. If you see those, there is a chance you may also see a warning along the lines of “Consumption may cause stomach discomfort and/or a laxative effect.” The laxative effect may cause one individual to move their bowels more frequently, and in others it may lead to anal leakage. It is for the most part a matter of the amount of candy that has been consumed.

Photo by Pete Markham

Some natural oils are used for a perceived or real medicinal effect  and as is true of most things, moderation matters. Castor, jojoba, and mineral oil fall into this category. For the most part, people that ingest these oils do so by the tablespoon. However, with so many get healthy and lose weight diets floating around in cyberspace that have never been vetted for any actual merit, more than a few have advocated for using these oils in cooking or as an additive to certain dishes, touting health benefits that may or may not exist. A tablespoon or so is fine, but not necessarily every day as not every individual has the same tolerance. Two tablespoons at a time could be a problem, three or four in a day or so and anal leakage is a near certainty.

Escolar fish, for reasons unknown, can still be sold in many countries. The US nearly pulled the plug on it, but then relented, issuing instead a weak advisory against consuming more than six ounces. If you never heard the name Escolar, you may have heard of super white tuna, butterfish, or Hawaiian walu. It is all the same thing. What causes a problem with this fish is that it has its own digestive problems that it passes along to whomever consumes it. Escolar contains gempylotoxin which in most people causes gas, diarrhea, and abdominal cramps – and of course anal leakage.

Certain drugs, particularly the diet drug Xenical (Also known as Orlistat), is a known cause of anal leakage. While it isn’t really a food, it is a common enough product found in the medicine cabinets of many dieters that it has to be mentioned. The label does warn that “loose stools” and “oily spotting” may be associated with use, but they don’t really mention the extent of the spotting or loose stools which can be a bit more frequent than one would be comfortable with.

For most people, these products will not cause much of a problem. In moderation, most are fine. What must be kept in mind however is that some people have a more sensitive digestive system than others. While 9 ounces of Escolar may pose no problem for one person, for another 3 ounces can be a problem. Nothing presented here is to say any product is inferior, just that in sufficient quantities, for some people, they can cause anal leakage.


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