Mind Candy

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Is the swinging lifestyle for you?

Posted by mandyf on December 3, 2008

When considering the question of whether or not the swinging lifestyle is right for you, the first clue to the answer probably is that if you are asking the question at all it is likely a good sign it isn’t for you. Swinging is neither good nor bad, nor is it for everyone. The best way to be sure if it is right for you however is to walk yourself through a simple checklist of questions and then quantitatively weigh them This won’t provide you with the definitive final answer you may seek, that ultimately is something only you and your partner know for sure. It will however help reassure you that whatever you choose it is the proper choice for you.

For starters a little history is due for those not intimately aware of the swinging lifestyle. Swingers are not deviants. They are a a regular run of the mill couple, not necessarily married or even of the opposite sex, that chooses to participate in this lifestyle as a pair. They may physically engage in sexual activities alone or as a pair. The general feeling many people in the swinging lifestyle has is that sex and love are unrelated. Swinging may be a couple picking up another individual or couple and that being the number of participants, or it may be a party in which several to a few dozen people may be on the premises.

Many hold that they love one person, however they feel having sex with many different people does not diminish that love and to some degree actually serves to strengthen that love and relationship. It is easy to understand many people not in the lifestyle find that hard to believe. For those that hold that above mentioned opinion however it seems to work out just fine.

Moving along begin taking a look at your existing relationship. Is it a healthy relationship? It is important to be completely honest with yourself when determining this. Do you have trust issues? A lack of trust is a sure sign that swinging is definitely not right for you. Do wither of you have a problem with jealously? Jealously and the swing lifestyle are polar opposites. Swinging is in large part all about trusting each other and being able to be fully aware of or even most often see your partner sexually active with another person. If either of you cannot handle that without feeling overly possessive swinging will do little more than exacerbate the issues and likely ruin what relationship you do have.

It may seem basic, but do you have….Read the rest here at: http://www.helium.com/items/1251786-swinging-lifestyle

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5 Responses to “Is the swinging lifestyle for you?”

  1. kasidie said

    Swingers are not deviants: At last, the truth.

  2. Good points.

  3. Is 21 too young? My girlfriend and I have already had threesomes, and sex in the same bed with two other friends, but no switching partners yet, but we’re talking a lot about it. We’ve been together for 6 years, also.

  4. mandyf said

    It’s hard to say that 21 is too young because you are both adults, have been together for several years and have already begun exploring this area of sexuality actively. It seems like you have a good solid foundation to build upon, but only you two really know what is the outer edge of your boundaries. A little discussion with each other about this will go a long way – as will having the right partner(s) to explore with. If you are with people that respect you, they will respect your wishes if you give it a whirl and decide at any time it isn’t working and decide to stop. You have both gone a long way in your journey, if it seems like you would both like to continue exploring then you should. Just be aware that either of you can call it off at any time for any reason. Respect and love each other and the rest of it will fall into place when you meet the right partner(s). Age has little to nothing to do with any of it – you are consenting adults and seem to have mature relationship with each other which is what is really important.

  5. Thanks, Mandy. We’ve discussed it a few times, and we’ve both agreed that we’re interested, but we’re taking it slow and testing the waters first, before we jump in. One thing that talked about is how difficult it might be to find another couple to play with – we know of one we know would probably be okay with it, but that’s all. I think we might feel a little funny going to a swinger’s club or something similar to find like-minded people, especially our age. Or even asking any other friends – they might think we’re freaks :S But, thanks for your comment, and we will continue to discuss and explore this 🙂

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