Mind Candy

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What teens and parents should know about coming out

Posted by mandyf on November 13, 2008

The process of coming out as a gay or gender queer person is never an easy task but it is a necessary thing for each person to do in order to move forward in life.There are numerous ways to come out and even more reactions to that which follow no set rule or pattern. When the person coming out is a teen it is a bit more complicated and as such deserves a little extra care. As a parent of that teen it is generally just as hard to hear the news your child is gay or gender queer as it is for them to tell you. What makes it easier for everyone involved is knowing a little bit about the facts of coming out from each others perspective.

For a parent hearing their child come out often raises the thought in their head they must have done something wrong. They may wonder if they didn’t display enough love, or perhaps even too much as if that was possible. They may begin questioning their parenting skills and techniques. In some cases mothers have even asked in all sincerity if perhaps their child’s sexual and/or gender identity could somehow be linked to their diet while carrying or any number of things that may be thought unusual. Although you as a teen may have reached a point in which you no longer question your identity, it likely raises a slew of questions in your parents minds as to how you got there. This is normal and a process they need to work through just as you had to work through understanding who you are. For parents it is important to know that your child being gay or gender queer is not because of anything you did. This is just the way they are.

It is equally important for teens to know some of the reasons many parents take your coming out so hard. It is not because they are disappointed in you or don’t love you, it is in large part because they do love you. A parent by nature wants the best for their child. In that they want their child to achieve personal and professional success, happiness, and ultimately love and acceptance. The fact is, right or wrong, in many societies being gay or gender queer does not always make that easy. Society is and always has been geared toward the heterosexual community as they are the majority. When you come out it is very likely that your parents are thinking of hardships you will almost certainly have to face during your life and that is what is upsetting to them. It is important to remember your parents..READ THE REST HERE: http://www.helium.com/items/1235586-coming-out

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One Response to “What teens and parents should know about coming out”

  1. ulla said

    good stuff.

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