Mind Candy

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Blind date advice for women

Posted by mandyf on September 28, 2008

Very few people really enjoy being set up with a stranger, I sure never liked it, but there is some good advice I can give for women going on a blind date. Thankfully I haven’t been in the dating pool for a long time, but like everyone else I had to go through the process and had a few blind dates that introduced me to great people and several that made me scratch my head wondering how anyone thought that person was a good match for me. Like anything else going on blind dates was a learning process and boy did I learn plenty!

The first thing I learned was to keep my expectations realistic. Chances are I was not going to be set up with the person of my dreams on a date that ended with me being whisked away to Paris on the Concord jet. More than likely I was going to meet someone that was a decent person just as nervous as I was who knew just as little about me as I did them. You’re probably not going to be set up with a runway model or someone from the J Crew catalog. Keep your expectations realistic and you are less likely to be dissapointed.

Be willing to initiate conversation. It can be awkward finding topics to talk about and some people are genuinely shy or a little reticent to bring topics up as they have no idea how you are going to react. Certainly not everyone will be this way, some will talk you to death and get into topics you would be hesitant to discuss with your best friend, but shyness is natural. Have a few non controversial topics to talk about in your mind. Get your date talking about them self if nothing else. Any date void of conversation is tedious at best, tedious, boring, and aggravating at worst. Since you’re there try to make the best of it.

Keep your cellphone on vibrate. Don’t turn it off, just from a saftey standpoint you should have your cell on, but it doesn’t need to ring during the middle of dinner or whatever you may be engaged in. It’s just good manners. Ask yourself how you would feel if your date was constantly taking taking calls. I don’t know about you but it would make me feel pretty neglected and a bit ticked off. Also be sure you let a couple people know where you will be going and when you expect to be home. Be sure to have enough cash with you just in case you wind up in an unforseen situation. Follow the regular saftey rules of dating always. Also don’t drink too much, I know a particularly boring date can drive you to numb the experience out, and a good one can make you forget to stay within your limits, but overindulging usually leads to problems, plus you really don’t know this person.

Dress appropriately for your date. We all love making a great first impression but if you’re going to a museum or something of that nauture wearing heels is nuts. Sure they shape your legs great and look super cute but you’ll be doing a lot of walking so be sensible. Likewise don’t overdress for a dress down event or vise versa. This is really just a little common sense thing.

Go into the date with the idea you will have fun. If you enter a date expecting it is going to be less you are already subconciously looking for things that are wrong, even blowing them up out of proportion or inventing them where no problem exists. It’s hard to have a good time when you do that and it’s hardly fair to your date. It’s better to have a good positive attitude or eventually every date, blind or otherwise, that you go on you’ll nit pick them to death and find nobody every lives up to your expectations.

If you go to dinner and your date is a dud, be kind and don’t kill them by ordering the entire menu. I know it can be tempting, but people do talk and you don’t want to get the reputation as that type of person. If it’s a lousy date just get through it quickly, be polite and let them know at the end you enjoyed meeting them but it just isn’t going to work. This way you truly put your best foot forward and more importantly you don’t have someone calling you for a return date that you don’t want to go out with. Few things are more annoying than that in the dating world.

If it goes well and you do want a second date with the person let them know! Don’t assume they are going to know you had fun. Be proactive and give some feedback so they know to ask you out again or even take the initiative and suggest you should get together again sometime. You may find they don’t feel the same way, but it’s better to know than sitting around wondering and waiting for a call.

In the event it just doesn’t work out, don’t hold it against the person that set you up. I know I wanted to do that a few times but it’s a bit extreme, they are afterall just trying to help you out. Don’t lead the person on giving the impression you want a follow-up date if you don’t. If you are lucky enough to realize early on a date isn’t working get through it quickly without being rude. Finish the date, just don’t be obvious about speeding through it. Don’t use the work/sick friend excuse to escape, they will just keep asking you out. Again be clear it just isn’t working out when you part ways.

Be reasonable, be prepared, be in control, and be clear. It is a very simple mantra to follow. Remember that you are one half of the date, you do have input, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Be polite but don’t be a welcome mat. If things go well don’t be afraid to suggest a second date and if they go bad don’t be afraid to cut bait and end it there. Blind dates rarely seem to work out but that’s no reason to stop going on them, you may be one of the success stories if you go about it the right way.

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